Comfortably Numb

Sheila Kumar's Storehouse

Published on: 04/8/17 8:06 AM

Feature: The north-south divide

It has taken a good many years spent criss-crossing the north and south of India, for me to come to this conclusion: Kipling got his latitudes mixed up with his longitudes.

When he famously remarked that East is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, he ought to have laid that sentence down vertically rather than horizontally.

Because, in this Bharat des of ours, north is north, south is south and seldom the twain do meet…peacefully, that is.

Sharp differences

This may not be a polictically correct thing to say but it is true. The differentials have been around for so long, most of us have learned to look the other way. The urbanised lot have it easier; out in the boondies, these  differences assume the proportions of a giant hayrick. All in all, a dashed uncomfortable affair, sometimes  lethally wounding but not fatal, thanks be.

Growing up as I did in various part sof the country, I saw the idli- dosa- aiyyo stereotype juxtasposed with the butter chicken-balle-balle one. I, and many others like me, winced at erstwhile comedians` Rajendranath and Mehmood`s characterisations of the `Madrasi.`

We turned impromptu geography teachers to all those who considered the landmass south of the Vindhyas one big place called Madras.  We learned to ignore those who would mimic  us, or we learned to mimic them back.

After which, we went on to make friends with many from the other side and lived blissful lives which celebrated this diversity.

Or did we? With a maturity brought on by years as well as experience, I now wonder if the barriers ever came down or were ever breached.

Why do I exclude the east and west of the country in this dissertation? Well, the east really lives in some sort of seclusion, part self-imposed, part geographical.

The west continues to be be a melting pot of cultures  from all over India going about the business of living, if in an uneasy truce.

A while ago, someone suggested that India be divided like the Koreas. Me, I personally think it would indeed be a pity if we had to apply for a visa to visit the Taj or take a dekko at the Charminar.

An attitude problem

Integration is not the problem here, it never was; attitude is the problem.

The southerners have taken their intellect and industrious nature to northern parts; in turn, the northerners have brought their drive and innate resourcefullness down south.

This integration has had many strange side-effects, be it the proliferation of dosa stands in Faizabad or a hitherto laidback city like Bangalore acquiring its Page Three chatterati/glitterati regulars.

Never is the north-south divide more sharply emphasises that when I travel. Almost invariably, whether it is by road, rail or air, I find myself in the company of people who hold the difference like some sort of strident banner. And I find myself the sole  — and reluctant — champion of the southern race. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Once, I was travelling by train, sharing the compartment with some young men from the north heading to their colleges  and offices in Bangalore. There was this boy  who was leaving his Shimla home for the first time, to come south and acquire a degree in hotel management.

I satisfied his curiosity about `the south` as much as I could, with enthusiastic inserts by the others. Up until then, the differences were being indulgently laughed at. All was going swimmingly, till the elderly man in the aisle seat, a self-annointed expert of some sort, took it upon himself to tutor the boy in all things southern.

He waited until I`d  climbed onto my upper berth to retire for the night, before telling the young men that it behove a lad from the north to be wary when living in the south.

The warnings ran the gamut from the ridulous to the offensive, from southie food not quite satifying the northie palate, the southerners` obstinacy in refusing to converse  in Hindi, to the boldness of the young women, who unlike their more modest northern counterparts, did not cover their heads. The sermon effectively ruined the camaraderie that had prevailed in the compartment till then.

On a flight from Chennai to Delhi, I sat alongside a couple who were so delighted to `escape` for even a week, that they vented non-stop, with a fine disregard for my sentiments. It never once occurred to them that I could and indeed, was rather fond of that  city by the Cooum.

The young man and his wife railed about very valid problems like  water scarcity, then moved on to tell me northies  were spiked at their jobs just for being from the north, that the grocer, milkman and auto driver perpetually took them for a ride.

When I ventured mildly that I knew many of their ilk who were happilly settled in Chennai and Hyderabad, as indeed in Bangalore, the man told me, ah but that was due to the northerner`s ability to adjust to anything and everything.

When they got to the part about the idols in the temples in these parts being radically different from those in the north, I judged it prudent to withdraw from this one-sided discussion.

The language hurdle

I have travelled with people who give the airline and rail staff a rough time because they can`t speak Hindi too well. After all  these years, I  still meet army officers who tell me , with all the air of delivering the ultimate compliment, that my Hindi is excellent ….for a southie.

I have been told southerners have an inordinate love for gaudy colours,  by which the speaker meant acid yellows, reds, oranges. And we`ve all heard the sniggers from Bollywood about south productions, never mind that the latter style of film-making is far more efficient than the former.

While Indian writing has largely crossed this hurdle, our movies and television serials still perpetuate the difference. Barring the virtuoso performance by Om Puri as Subramaniam in Bollywood Calling,  southern stereotypes still wear the exaggerated namam, say ai-ai-yo, and eat their rice and curds messily.

As for  television advertising, they continue to touch zeniths of sterotypical bad taste. The music channels, though, use cultural cross-references to great effect.

To redress the balance, I must tell you that the blinkered view is not a northern monopoly. I have had educated, urbane southerners tell me that the old chestnut about the north being more proficient in agricuture than culture,  is true.

`Will you find one tastefully done-up house in the north?` asks a Bangalorean friend, stumping me with the broad sweep of his assumption. Several, I tell him,  but he will not be swayed from what he refuses to call prejudice!

Then, I  have this friend who views virtually everything and anything through what I call the northern filter. Compliment him on his choice of residential locality and he`ll tell you it`s because there are no noisy, partying northies. around.

Tell him Nagesh Kukunoor`s take on Bollywood lacked bite and he`ll tell you it was because Kukunoor`s producer was from the north. Tell him Mira Nair`s Monsoon Wedding,  that unabashed celebration of Punjabi ostentation, was a fun romp,  and he will look at you in a wounded manner.

Lopsided thinking

Now and then, I have noticed the isolation of northerners from a south- dominated circle of people. I have also noticed that the whole difference thing is rather lopsided. Those in the north are very vocal with their derision. Those in the south, rather characteristically, hasten to adopt a reasonable and `forgiving` attitude while simmering inside.

Then there are many of us who have crossed this divide successfully and feel unconfortable in the face of attitude problems. There are still others who have integrated so well, it`s hard to tell they don`t belong  where they reside.

Many a Raji weds a Rohit,  many a Nanju brings home a Payal, ad they all live happily ever after. Or,  if they do not, it has nothing to do with one lot eating chaval and the other rotis.

Meanwhile, we are stuck with this difference. If only we could learn to view it with more humour and understanding, less contempt and suspicion.

After all, don`t  we, northies and southies, have many things in common? Like an inordinate admiration for fair skin, for male children, for shiny red cars, for a steaming mug  of rasam either in its native state or disguised as mulligatawny soup? Let`s celebrate the difference, folks, rather than use it as cannon fodder.

This ran in DECCAN HERALD of 13 Jan 2002.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

attitudesdifferencesFeaturenorth Indiaprejudicessouth IndiaSunday Herald

Sheila Kumar • April 8, 2017


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