Book review: Punjabi Parmesan by Pallavi Aiyar

In Punjabi Parmesan, author Pallavi Aiyar trains her incisive gaze on the European Union. If her China book, Smoke and Mirrors, was at times an amused, indulgent look at the Middle Kingdom, here the EU is placed on a cold metal tray to be scanned by a dispassionate, measuring eye. The picture that emerges is not a grand one. This is Europe in decline.

The topics covered are covered well: the vague but very real anti-immigration sentiment; the accommodation of Islam in Europe; racial tolerance, the maze otherwise known as climate change, workers protests, the Byzantine complexities of European politics (do read about their sales and discount regulations and the Walloon-Flanders division), and oh, the Asian challenge.

This book is densely packed with facts and stats. This is Europe in the throes of the economic recession, sure, but it doesn’t take rocket science to deduce that much of the continent is still in denial about what ails them: the lack of competitiveness of many European economies, the bloated pension systems, inflexible labour markets, and above all, the range of entitlements and handouts.

For me, the mouth-drop came in the chapter that tells of Chinese children out shopping on their Grand Tour of Europe. We aren’t talking chocolates and knick-knacks here; it’s Tyrolean skiing holidays, Swarovski crystal, haute designer bags and clothing for these Little Emperors. The chapter goes on to detail the inexorable rise of Chinese power in the EU; from heavy industry to construction to vineyards in Bordeaux, too.

The bit where Aiyar interviews Mr Zhang, the new owner of Chateu du Grand Moueys is priceless. But China is also helping EU bail out of the crisis. And this is why though they resent the Asians, Europe now has sales staff who speak fluent Mandarin. A telling point.

The Asian challenge (China and to a smaller extent, India too) is being met with much deep-seated anger, says Aiyar. In the writer’s opinion, China is like the US (big powers who take the direct route that serves them best) and India like Europe (all those circuitous rules and the two-step shuffle). It baffles the writer why the EU and India aren’t forging closer ties. The inroads made by both are pitiably small, the negative perceptions and mental barriers loom large. And there it is.

Sample this: a young EU beaurocrat is telling Aiyar about the regulation that public phone booths and cyber cafes must shut by 8 pm. `Why,` asks the mystified Aiyar. `To protect the public tranquility,` is the reply.

Add clean air, potable water, good food, and a system that (mostly) works and its hard for us in India not to feel just that wee bit envious.